 Here's Catherine Zeta-Jones getting off a plane, moments before realizing the steps were POISONED!!!
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 Another time, she tried to sneak in our practice with a disguise. Who are you? I'm a flamingo dancer. Look, you're cut Catherine Zeta-Jones! Get it through your skinny "flamingo" head!
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 Then she tried her "Mariah Carey" costume. Nice try, but Mariah Carey is black.
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 At least, I think she is.
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 Another thing about Catherine Zeta-Jones: look at her drum sticks (top left corner)...they have hand guards! What a pussy!!!
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 Remeber when I said thanks to Catherine Zeta-Jones? Well I was lying! Thanks for NOTHING Catherine Zeta-Jones!
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 No, no I'm sorry. I'm still pissed about how she acted when we started going out. She got so clingy.
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 She was always like "write a song about me. let's go do this. i'm going to miss you while you go to the bathroom." It got on my nerves more than Chaz's constant lying!
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 Cowboy my ass. The first time Catherine Zeta-Jones saw a cow, she thought it was a dog.
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 Here she is nursing a hangover. She's in the bathroom cause she got all pukey the night before. I had to change ALL her clothes cause they were pukey. What a pain in my ass.
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 Oh well, at least she can hold her liquor better than Chaz. Rally my ass, you have to start drinking again to consider it a rally.
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 "Did I do anything stupid last night," she always asked me. Just hanging on me and kissing me the whole time, but that's more annoying than stupid. But you should have seen Ed, now that was stupid.
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 Catherine Zeta-Jones the "flamingo" dancer showing off her beautiful new toy chest.
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 Showing off her muscles. No Catherine Zeta-Jones, they're still the same size. You can't expect them to be bigger after working out only once.
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 Now she's trying the old yawn and put her arms around my head trick. Hey Catherine Zeta-Jones, it doesn't work when your victim is in the kitchen!
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 Aww nuts, looks like Catherine Zeta-Jones is getting married. Either that or she fell for one of the Masser brother's tricks again. Ha!
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