"Captain John Traver"

[spoken:]
Ha, ha, ha, storytime...
You see him on his bicycle, traveling
hundreds of miles to get that special chemical.
Who is he but...
Captain John Traver!
(In the house! Time to kick it down! Oh yeah!
We're gonna check this: 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4-)

He's the man of steel
Kneecap ain't real
Faster than lightning
Horseplay can be frightening
Manuel dexterity
Knowledge inventory
He'll put you in the hood
If you don't act good
Bucknell chemist! (Bucknell chemist!)
Bucknell chemist! (Bucknell chemist!)
Bucknell chemist! (Bucknell chemist!)
Mild mannered perfectionist
He'll ride his bike forever
It's Captain John Traver!
(Captain John Traver!)
(Captain John Traver!)
(Captain John Traver!)
Break it down for me fellas!

[Spoken:]Definitely uncool

Watch your cleanup time...

Leeches!

Lanthanide!
Actinide!
Lithium!
Berrilium!
Hydrogen!
Oxygen!
Group IV metals!

Definitely not cool!
No, that's your business, this is my business!
AAAAAAARRRRGGHHHHHH!

Storytime...
(hood! hood!)
(hood! hood!)
(hood! hood!)

Back in the days
When we played in the hood
We hit up we hit down
We did all that we could.

Fox E. Flynn and
Dr. Horseplay.
But one man was our leader,
And this is what he'd say:

Attack! (Attack!)
Attack! (Attack!)

Attack with all your force,
Attack with all your zeal
You won't be number one
Unless you're made of steel!

Attack! (Attack!)

Mr. Traver was
He was faster than lightening
From Boston to Seattle
We'd see him biking!

Attack! (Attack!)
Attack! (Attack!)
Attack! (Attack!)
Attack! (Attack!)
Attack! (Attack!)
Attack! (Attack!)
Bucknell Chemist! (Bucknell Chemist!)
Bucknell Chemist! (Bucknell Chemist!)
[spoken:]That's no encyclopedia set,
that's my thesis!

Arriba!

He's the man of steel,
Kneecap ain't real.
Manuel, Manuel Dexterity;
He's the man that we want to be.

Water without
Spilling a drop,
One thing
This guy just will not stop!

[spoken:]Come again
Come again

[spoken:]
"Chemistry for boys AND girls"
Sorry my students,
I must leave you now.
I've locked myself in the hood
To keep the fumes from escaping;
These are organic acids,
And they WILL eat through your apron.


HE'S ALIVE!
YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

This one goes out to you, and you, and yes, even you.

most lyrics written by Terry Hart
lyrics (c)1997 by Q and the Brass Boys